is this okay?

Hey there!

Have you ever felt that life is unfair to you? How your enemies get to live their live as if they didn't screw you up before? Yea, that's how I actually been feeling these days... And of course, I feel so bad for being bitter and envy for what they had. It is honestly a struggle you know? To remind yourself and comfort your own heart that it is nothing big. That everything is going to be okay. They just happened to be lucky.

But, I don't know. I hate to feel like this. It is actually quite unusual for me to feel this way about anyone. I never hope for the worst for anyone. (except for two specific person back in high school) And then, I feel like this towards MULTIPLE of people ...? I think something is wrong with my heart.

Sure, some of them screwed me up but I should have moved on, right...?

I think maybe, I have moved on but the past me within myself is still living and still can't forgive them for what they've done to me. But then again, they are not responsible for the way I feel afterwards 100%. At least, about 50% of what happened was because of me. I am the one who put myself in that situation. Now, I have to face the consequences. Maybe I don't feel quite fulfilled with myself. That's why. It is something that I gotta work on.

To future me,

I hope that you won't feel this way for too long. You'll heal and will be contented with yourself. The journey towards it will be tough. But I believe that you'll change for the better, like how you've always been. As for now, wish me luck and pray for your past self.

Love, Juita.